This is how it’s going to work. I picked five schools from different books, and I’m going to take a look at their pros and cons to see which ones are objectively terrible and which would be fun to attend. For that, I’m going to ask some questions like: do you actually learn anything? Are most of the other students decent human beings? And, this seems to come up a lot, could you die if you go there? Yep, it’s that simple. There’s one last thing I want to say before I jump straight into the crowded halls of fictional academia. All the schools I picked have something magical about them — even if the schools themselves don’t teach magic. You’ll see what I mean in a bit. Plus, I decided not to divide this into separate best and worst school categories. Rather, I want to talk about each individual institution and then give my verdict on if it’s worth attending or not (at least for me). But without further ado, let’s dive into some of the best and worst schools in literature. Looking for more magical schools? We have a list with some of the best fantasy books with academic settings! Oh, and apropos of nothing, I Left Your Favorite Book Off That List On Purpose. Pros: You learn a lot about how language works. Some of the classmates are actually nice, and you can form a close bond with your cohort. Their library is amazing, and Oxford as a campus is pretty memorable. Cons: The teachers can be unnecessarily cruel. Plus, there’s tons of racism, sexism, and classism — and your entire education is a tool for colonialism. Verdict: Look, I’d love to attend Babel merely because using translation for a magical effect sounds incredible. Plus I have a personal interest in translation, so the whole thing speaks to my soul. But unless you’re a rich white guy who wants to help expand an empire, this is probably not the best. Which makes this one of the worst schools in literature. Pros: You get to work with other creative people. Plus, it’s a more “regular” college experience — unless you join the Bunnies. Cons: The creative writing cohort is cult-like. There seems to be an ax murderer loose in town and both the faculty and the other students are quite arrogant. Verdict: This isn’t the best school on this list, but it’s not the worst either. Yes, it’s very pretentious. But all and all, you might have some privileged and uneventful college years if you manage to steer clear of performing rituals in the name of creation. Pros: You get to learn magic. With its “normal” social system, you can probably make friends easily. Plus, the library has a tempting forbidden section full of talking books. Cons: There’s a “Chosen One” prophecy, which can put a lot of pressure on some students. It was the site of a gruesome murder. Verdict: Osthorne seems to mimic a high school experience, but with the addition of magic. And who doesn’t want to learn magic? Murder and all, I think this would be a pretty fun school to attend. So I’m going to say this is one of the best schools in literature. Pros: More magic! You get to see all kinds of strange things as you perform or watch over rituals. Being in a campus like Yale must be pretty fun, too. Cons: The members of the nine houses seem mostly terrible. You could very easily die if a ritual goes wrong. Verdict: In this case, high risk yields high rewards. Yes, some rituals are dangerous — and the school is plagued by ghosts. The rich and powerful patrons the Houses cater to can be dangerous, too. But it all sounds so fun. This is mostly a personal choice, and because I love all things creepy, I’d be delighted to join the ranks of this fictional Yale. Pros: The school encourages you to explore and have fun. If you get in your tuition, room, and board are free. Cons: They don’t let you have any contact with the outside world. They have strict protocols and a hidden agenda. Plus, the whole plasm program is very cult-like. Verdict: Catherine House is easily the worst literary school on this list. It’s notoriously hard to get in, and if you do, you’d probably want to leave ASAP. With its oppressive policies and its shady — and dangerous — secrets I would absolutely not want to be part of this institution.
