Not only were these non-plushies cuter than heck, but they also came with tiny poems on their tags. The first 136 were written by Lina Trivedi. The rest were written by unknown wizards. I’ve got to spoil this post for you and tell you that many of these poems are not good. They appear to have come out of a random rhyme maker. Many of them do not make sense. There are quite a few oddly political poems? Wouldn’t have guessed that! Most of them are boring. A few are quite dark. One ends with a dog’s teeth all falling out for no reason? It’s a ride, let me tell you. Some of them are impressive in their glory. Here are very many of them, hundreds, in fact, with my thoughts, which are very inconsistent. So there you go. Lots and lots of thoughts on lots and lots of Beanie Baby tag poems. What did I learn from this experience? I learned that I do not like clingy Babies. I learned that I do not like political and/or patriotic Babies. And I learned that the bar for writing Beanie Babies tag poems is extremely low. This one is pretty strong, but switching the last two lines would have made it even stronger — it’s generally best to state what you’re going to prove before providing your evidence. Grade: B None of this makes sense. Of course he has no hair; he’s a bird. They suggest he get a transplant (I assume hair transplant), but then note that hair in his eyes would make it hard to see? Pick a side! Grade: D I thought this was horseshit, but after doing a bit of poking around the ole internet, I discovered that anteaters do indeed eat “soft fruits,” and the fruit in apple pie should be soft. I don’t believe that they are eating the crust, though perhaps the author issuing the term “pie” loosely? Grade: B- I’m on board with this one. I get that bats can seem creepy, but they are essential to the ecosystems in which they live. Not only do they provide billions of dollars in free pesticides, but they also pollinate. Then the poem ends with the information that the Batty would love to hug you. No pressure. Just letting you know, if you consent, that he’d love to hug you. Grade: A Why? Why can’t Bernie protect himself? Because he’s little? Because he’s a beanie? They’re all beanies. But it specifies that he “can’t wait to grow,” so apparently he’s on the way to not being little and/or a beanie? A 2-month-old St. Bernard can already weigh as much as 40 pounds, so I’m unclear why this guy is so little. Too confusing. Too many questions. Too few answers. Grade: D Well, that’s nice of Bessie! I like this simple ditty in which I am promised a lullaby. Grade: B+ Wait, what? What does living in a national park have to do with only playing after dark? And why does his friend Cubbie make it possible to play when it’s sunny? This one raises more questions than it answers. Grade: D The rhyme on this is even more of a stretch than most of them. I do like that the author helps me understand what is so special about this particular tiger, but otherwise it’s uninspired. Grade: C Oh my goodness! Surprise ending! Bones lost all his teeth? Are we talking baby teeth? Or is he aging? Either way, a dog’s teeth should not be falling out all at once, as this implies. Still, as poems go, this is a winner. A strong narrative, everybody shouting, and a dark ending. Grade: A This is fine. Bongo sounds committed to the guitar, but clearly has other things going on in his life, which I dig. He’s dreaming big. Good job, Bongo. Grade: B Why isn’t Britannia flying? Or at least taking a cruise ship — sailing and waiting for the tide seems like a very inefficient way to come visit me. Grade: D Oof, I hate to hit a dog while he’s down, but Bruno sounds like a bit clueless. I can’t tell if “everyone” earnestly thinks he’s darling and they are celebrating him or if they are making fun of the poor guy? Either way, this does not seem worthy of writing an entire poem about. There have to be better and more interesting things to say about Bruno the Dog. Grade: C- I’d like to talk to Bubbles alone and see if she really, truly “never gets tired of flapping her fins.” Sounds exhausting! And I’m glad she’s ready to come home with me, but isn’t it more important that the person she goes home with is ready for her? Fish aren’t the lowest maintenance of all creatures. Grade: C Oh, Bucky, playing hard to get! I don’t like it. If Bucky wants to play with me, that’s cool, I’ll watch him use his shiny teeth to fell some trees, but this poem is putting a lot of pressure on the both of us. Just let it happen. Grade: C- I do not care for anything that’s going on here. Bumblebees are important, and I love them, but I do not want to hug them, and further, I don’t think it’s even possible — they are very small! If it’s true that this bee won’t sting me, then I think we need to get this bee some help. Stinging is an important evolutionary, self-preservational instinct. Don’t let go of it, Bumble! Grade: D Why would it be a disaster? Black, gold, brown, and white seem like they’d go together fine on a couch or an outfit or a what have you. There are ways to compliment Chip without degrading everyone else who enjoys this particular color scheme. Grade: D Oh, oh, let me guess — ice cream! Did I get it? Just kidding guys, it’s clearly CHOCOLATE. Who can argue with this moose? Other than those who are concerned about the effects of a high-sugar diet like, you know, doctors. But us non-doctors love this guy and his eating habits! Grade: B Is it just me or is it a little impolite to name a lamb after the cut of their meat you’d like to eat? As to the constant following, I don’t care for it, I’ll tell you. Let Chops live their own damn life: don’t force them to follow me around and watch me say weird things to my dogs all day. Even if Chops is a follower by choice, I don’t like the idea that EVERY path I take they will follow. I think there are laws against that, Chop. Settle down. Grade: D I’m starting to think these poems are just too deep for me, because I don’t get it. The tide came in, his paints fell, presumably in the ocean, and then he, what, rolled around, or crabbed around or whatever, in the paints? I would think a crab would have a better understanding of the tides than this. Why were his paints out at high tide? And isn’t his outer shell basically just a suitcase? Pop them paints up in there, Claude. You’re not thinking! Grade: C- Ouch. It starts out complimentary, but it turns out that the best thing about Congo is that he’s related to Bongo? At least Bongo got his guitar. Congo gets nothing except being strong — and related to a wanna-be rockstar. Grade: C- Horseshit. Those colors were not chosen “just for” me. Coral is indeed beautiful, as we know, and it can come in many colors, as we know, but they do not change based on my whims. They are not a mood ring. Grade: D Well now, I like Crunch! He’s a hungry boy, eating it all: yum, delicious! I like a dedicated animal, and I like eating, so a poem about an animal that’s dedicated to eating is going to get a good grade from me. Grade: A- I, uh, is that funny?? Getting stung by 14 bees? And what does that have to do with broccoli and cheese? I get that he’d hold off on harvesting honey, what with the bee attack, but he was eating crackers with his honey so presumably he’s shopping at some kind of store — the store he’s getting his broccoli and cheese from! But guess what? Surprise judge bias: broccoli and cheese is one of my favorite food combinations, so this gets an auto-A. Grade: A I feel like Curly probably has something else going on for him other than this curly hair. Still, this is a sweet poem about what is surely a sweet bear. Grade: B Why did the author switch from talking about Daisy to talking about me? If Daisy is a baby cow then yes, milk is great for her, good job! But now I have to drink Daisy’s mom’s milk? This feels a little preachy. No thanks. Grade: C- Oh, fuck those snitches. I’m glad Derby got away. Why do the other horses care?? Get lives, horses! Eyes on your own barn! Grade: B Digger sounds like a lot of fun! Digging, walking sidewalks, hanging ten, sun bathing, living the life! Then it turns out that she’s got layers! She’s vulnerable, yet so steely! Very well-rounded character for a four-line rhyming poem. Grade: A I’d like to see Doby get some hobbies other than looking out for my well-being, but thanks, I guess? Grade: C Mind your business, Doodle. I don’t care for alarm clocks, living or not. Grade: D The Beanies had never heard of a Dalmatian? Really? This story is suspect. I think they named her Dotty because of her dots, duh, and then somebody was like, “Nice name, so clever!” but, you know, sarcastic, and then the Beanies got defensive and were like, “No! No, it’s uh, because this pen, see it broke…” Grade: D See, Doodle could learn a thing or two from Early. This robin likes to get up early but it doesn’t make it my problem. He just hops around, loving spring, singing, bobbin’ for them worms. Way to be, Robin. Grade: B+ The final two lines are fine. I get it: couldn’t see, got glasses, makes sense. But what does that have to do with “eating carrots so long”? And then the actual Beanie Baby doesn’t even have glasses! That’s the climax of your poem, guys! Grade: F Okay, I see what they’re doing here. We’ve got some info on the common ground between me and Echo, good job. We know Echo is popular and she also seems to be able to appreciate my company without needing it. I’d hang with Echo. Grade: B Well, this is a little cliche, is it not? There are more exciting things to say about an Irish bear, but I know they’re working to appeal to a broad audience and they only have four lines, so I’ll give them a break. Grade: C+ What is with this writer’s obsession with getting up early? Though in this instance, it does sound kind of nice, what with the dewdrops, assuming it’s not super cold out. Fetch sounds fine, though a little dull. Grade: C Another dolphin! Is this one of the friends Echo the dolphin’s poem was talking about? Heck no, flash is hanging with the whales, natch. Learning to read from whales, even! What a gal. Grade: A Aw, this worked on me, big time. Fleece, I will be patient as can be. You sing when you want to sing, girl. I appreciate the vulnerability. Grade: A Flip seems a bit one-note, but also seems to excel in her field, so I can’t hate. I certainly can’t somersault in midair! Grade: B I thought the Easter bunny HID eggs. Does Floppity work for the Easter bunny, searching for eggs? I would think if that was their job, they’d do it with a care, though maybe they’re just bad at their job? I like the idea of a lavender coat, unless it’s literally made out of lavender, which seems like it could be difficult for people with allergies to put up with. Grade: B- Another surprise depressing one! First, they’re like, no, Fortune is just hard to see, and then they spring it on you: actually, pandas are hard to see because they’re nearly extinct due to habitat loss and poaching — neat! Grade: A Oh ho ho, nice try, no thank you, I am not going to “look real close” at this leopard that you’ve just told me spends night and day hunting his damn prey. No thank you, bad advice! Grade: F I’m not the hugest Grateful Dead fan, but I do like people who are extremely into things, and Deadheads are extremely into the Grateful Dead, so I like that about them. This bear seems peaceful, popular, and fun enough. Grade: B There’s two ways to read this. One, Gigi has a terrible haircut and is just “thinking” her hairdo is oh so neat. The other is that she’s just a confident pooch. I’ll assume the latter and I love that she’s nothing but plain. Get it, Gigi! Grade: B Hard pass. Grade: I Who gives a shit if her tummy bulges? Why are we having a conversation about this? And then framing it like a dirty “secret.” Gobbles, you can have a feast every day: fuck these tummy-bulge shamers. Grade: F What more could I want in a fishbowl other than rhythm and soul? Water maybe? A couple of rocks? A castle? Grade: D Okay, so the takeaway here is that she used to be ugly and everyone would laugh at her, but lucky her she got pretty? Shouldn’t the lesson be that we throw rocks at the birds on the lake who poked fun until poor Gracie cried? Grade: F I’m not clear on why he’s scary. Is he supposed to looks scary? He’s a little red dude. But regardless, I’m not taking home any dude if all you can tell me about him is that people think he’s tough and rough but once you’re home, we’ll be real sweet. No thank you. Grade: D This doesn’t track. I mean, I guess he’s happy to have that water out of his snout because I’m sure it gets annoying, but I don’t think water-blowing is a sign of happiness in hippos. Grade: D I don’t mind a straightforward poem. Cute, dressed in green, looks funny, twitchy nose, got it. If that sums up Hippity the Mint Bunny, then they’ve done a great job. Grade: B Are snakes playful? Are animals named “hissy” playful? Does this poem sound sort of like hissy wants to kill me? And then stick with my dead body? Not into it. Grade: F Finally! A Beanie Baby that burns the midnight oil! I’m not that into the “Hey, he stays up late and gets up late…yet’s still wise, can you believe it?!” aspect and I don’t know why we’re bringing presidents into it (another hard pass). Grade: C+ Screw you, Hoppity. If I won’t immediately play the game you want, you’re going to hop away? This seems unjust. Grade: F Oh fuck yeah! Iggy, you’re the best. Reading, napping, getting a little sun, this fellow is living his best life. Grade: A+ As he should! If he’s such a friend of yours, as you claim, narrator, then why are you running around town complaining about how slow he is? Give him a minute; he’ll catch up. Grade: D I would feel better about the offer of Inky’s extra hands if it was coming from Inky. Is he on board? Or are people just always assuming that because he has so many hands he should be available to help all the time? Because I’ll bet he’s got other things to do with that big, round head of his. Grade: C Is teaching a bird to speak really about showing them how to move their beak? No, of course it isn’t! They speak by modifying the airflow over their syrinx. So these people are over there thrusting Jabber’s beak here and there, no idea what they’re doing. Grade: F So the only things I know about this mallard are that he’s likely wet from splashing in puddles and he quacks incessantly. I’m going to go ahead and pass on the offered cuddling. Grade: C Delirious: “in an acutely disturbed state of mind resulting from illness or intoxication.” Does that seem like too much laughing? Grade: C for concerned I’m tired of these people making me guess about these Babies’ favorite treats. I’d like more specificity than “sweet fruit” because that’s basically all fruits except avocado and tomatoes? Don’t @ me if there are others. Grade: C I’m actually not surprised by how he can rhyme, because you gave away that secret in the second sentence. But he sounds pretty delightful anyway, I’ll take him home and give him some time, sure. Grade: B Grade: F Again, lazy rhyming. Boring name. But I admit, I’ll be looking for this hopping fellow the next time I hang out at the lake. Grade: C Boo, hiss. Grade: F Oh, Legs has a lady friend! And they share flies! I like this pairing. Grade: B Well, Lucky’s motto is inaccurate, there are plenty of no-winner Wednesdays. But the idea that if I save the dimes and pennies I don’t spend on lotto, I will have many is inaccurate as I currently spend zero. I get their point, but do we need to preach to children about the lottery? Grade: D Lives in a dream! Now that’s some poetic language. I love beautiful dragons (and also ugly dragons and dragons in between) and this is just a lovely little pointless poem. Grade: A- Can manatees bow? I guess so. Well, my lady Manny the manatee, you sound delightful, and I’m so sorry you’re so lonely underwater. Grade: B His country is right in this name so yes, I can guess that he’s from Canada. I get that this is all very stereotypical Canadian stuff, but I love everything maple flavored, and I assume that includes this Beanie Baby. Grade: B+ Oh, now this one is just terrifying. I assume they mean ’90s hunk Mel Gibson? I’d love it if they meant Mel Brooks! Grade: D I can’t even complain about this one: it’s too boring. Grade: C Actual laugh out loud at the idea that this dog is somehow unusual for loving weather. There is always weather! All the time! It’s in constant existence! Grade: D Nip needs some additional hobbies and maybe at least one additional friend who perhaps does not have a name that rhymes with him. Grade: D What does his tail have to do with him scampering up the tree? And yes, I have seen squirrels who like nuts and who make a lot of noise. Grade: C- It seems like whenever a poem is about how much an animal talks it’s cool if it’s a dude but VERY ANNOYING if it’s a lady animal. And once again, your beak doesn’t have anything to do with talking/how much you talk. Grade: D Okay. Well. Oof. So I’m sure they meant well, right? But I haven’t heard many racial equality activists begging for people to just hold hands and dance more so I’m not sure how helpful this is. Probably more helpful than handing a Pepsi to a cop, though, so there’s that. Grade: D- Oh, a sneaky elephant friend, yes please! I’m not that into sneaky hugs though, so Peanuts and I will need to have a chat about consent. Grade: B Ouch, I would not like Pinchers to pinch me, please. This poem also led me to google “Do lobsters use their tails to balance?” The answer is no, no they do not. In fact, they use their tails to propel themselves when in danger. So basically the opposite of what this poem describes. Grade: F Very surface, shallow poem here. What I’ve learned is the colors that Pinky is made up of and that she loves Florida, gross. (I am allowed to say this, having lived for several years in Florida.) Grade: D- That does sound quite handy! Especially as an animal that lives out in the wild with a bunch of other animals that want to eat it. Grade: B Very nice poem, bravo! Action-packed. Not a lot of emotion here, but I believe that’s a deliberate move. Grade: A Another clueless animal to go with that dog that whips and chases his tail around. But watching a cat be silly and then petting it is I think what people like about cats. Grade: B I remember this one coming out — it was to commemorate Princess Diana after her death. I was a bit of a Diana fangirl in my early teens, and I don’t think this cheesy, lazy poem does a very good job of conveying what she meant to the world. Grade: D Good for her! Puffer don’t owe you shit, nosy poem-writing lady. Puffer doesn’t speak for all puffins! She was probably busy doing puffin stuff and didn’t have time to answer your boring questions. Grade: A for Puffer; F for the poem lady I don’t care for the name of this animal/poem. Pugsly the Pug Dog seems like overkill, no? Like just Pugsly the Dog or Pugsly the Pug would have worked. Pugsly the Pug Dog: too much. And this particular pug dog sounds like a bit of an asshole, though I was glad to see him taken down a peg in the end. Grade: C Quackers is a great name. Theoretically I like the idea that this duck is eating animal crackers every night, but in real life, I imagine animal crackers cause this same kind of issues that you get when you feed ducks bread. His lake sounds lovely, so I’m not sure why he’s coming to shore to be with me, unless he’s in need of those sweet, sweet crackers. Grade: B This is better than the other bat poem in that it doesn’t immediately shame bats or allude to them being scary. That said, it does set up unrealistic expectations re: how high bats can fly. Grade: C Chameleons are famous for changing color to match their surrounding. This is in direct conflict with the idea this poem puts forth, which is that the chameleon has “his own unique hue.” Grade: D Hard pass, boo, hiss, etc. Grade: F Once again, when have a chattering MALE animal and it’s presented as so cute that he loves to chitter chatter! While women who chatter are nags! I hate it. Grade: F It seems reasonable to me that every animal should be afraid when it hears a lion roar. I get that it’s his own roar, but it still seems to me like his powers of self-preservation are high, and that’s not “cowardly.” It’s just smart! Grade: D Are blue jays known for being fast? Is this is an exciting thing about him? Also, don’t all birds fly in all sorts of weather? They have those water-wicking wings, right? And then “aerial tricks are his specialty.” He’s a bird? All birds who have tricks likely have aerial tricks? I’m not sure he’d be so entertaining for you and me as this writer thinks he would be. Grade: D I like the way this poem sounds if you ignore the annoying words. I have several big dogs and I can tell you that if they are barking and playing with all of their might, you should worry. They will not bite, but at full might, they’re at least knocking the kitchen table over. Grade: C Heck yeah, Scoop! Get those fish, fill that bill! Great technique — fast and low seems smart and hoping for slow fish is a good use of hope. Grade: A I’ve never even met this dog, so if I am one of his best friends, I’m a little sad for him. Though he’s apparently happy as can be, so that’s good. There’s some subtle short-leg shaming in here that I could do without. Grade: C I’m learning about myself that I really enjoy an animal that is food motivated. Which is only, what, like 99% of animals? Seamore in particular seems great. She’s just playing, laughing, not giving a shit about anything but munching on those fish and claims. Grade: A Immediate F for the bad otter pun and another one for scare-quoting the pun. Grade: Double F I appreciate the request to not chase the guy and just let him live his life, and I’ve got nothing against a tricky animal. Grade: B Based on the very little I know about Smoochy, I feel terrible for him. Did he ask for these kisses? I don’t know if it’s the confusion the makes him wince so much as the idea that he’s a prince at all. What evidence do we have that he’s not just a frog everybody is harassing all the time? Grade: F Okay, fair enough: Snip likes playing with toys and string. That seems appropriately cat-like. The suggestion to befriend her involves playing her favorite games with her. I’m on board. Grade: B Again with the guessing, just knock it off. Also, once again, short-shaming. This one is actually relevant, because most b-ball players are generally tall, though not all of them. I love that Snort loves basketball, and I love that he’s dreaming big, even though at least one shitty poet doesn’t believe in him. Grade: A for Snort, C for the poem Hmm, gloves maybe? Hot cocoa? Coffee? A person’s warm hand? I could think of maybe one million things that are better in the winter wonderland that a Beanie Snowman in my hand. Grade: D This guy is bad news for everyone, including himself. You’ve got firefighters just stepping all over him, presumably falling down themselves as this dog just runs loose in the firehouse. It’s not that hard to train a dog! Grade: D What’s shameful about coming in last in a marathon? He ran a marathon! This is a huge accomplishment! But ya’ll shamed him so much that he went out and got a stupid racing car. What happens when he gets spooked and his head, legs, and feet all suck back into the shell? A racing car collision is what happens! Grade: F I’m not sure if I like at all. It’s nice that he’s gentle with birds, but what about me? Is he a bruiser with humans? I wouldn’t blame him, but I also wouldn’t be his friend. Grade: C Spiders, like bats, are very important for the ecosystem, but I do understand why people are sometimes scared of them. I don’t think they have feelings, and even if they did, I don’t think that means I can’t be afraid of them? There are much more compelling pro-spider arguments to be made. Nice try, but poor execution. Grade: D Jumping and diving have nothing to do with dashing. Dashing has nothing to do with swimming. I don’t believe that this whale always wins the 100-yard dash — I don’t even believe he’s ever taken part in one. Nice try. Grade: D Trying to scare me again? Well, it worked! Telling me not to let him bring me any fright is not helpful. He’s a ghost. He needs to leave me alone. I do not need a ghost best friend. Do you know how many animal best friends I have after reading all these poems? Grade: D But can Spot beat a whale in a 100-yard dash?? This is what we need to know. Grade: C Oh man, three-way 100-yard dash between cocker spaniel, Spot the unidentified type of dog, and a whale. I don’t think Spunky has much of a chance unless he ties his ears back. Grade: C I don’t mind a friendly class clown, and I’ve been known to like to listen to a story or two, so Squealer is A-OK in my book. Grade: B I have, yes. I like that this poem is from Sting’s point of view, even if he does seem to have an inflated sense of self. Grade: B No. No, I will not be asking Stinger to play. He can go run and dart in the whale/dog 100-yard dash. Grade: D I feel like the author has a deep misunderstanding of the issue with skunks and stinking. Grade: D After having read about most of these Beanie Babies, I think it’s pretty rich of them to call this ostrich absurd. Maybe this gal doesn’t think no one can see her — she just knows when to give up and doesn’t need to see it coming. Grade: D That last line is rough. I’m not sure I buy this story. It seems like there are plenty of posturing, tough tigers — surely there has to be a role for a pacifist tiger to play? Grade: D Wait just a minute! This is the same poem Doodle got. Grade: P for plagiarism Okay, this is another knockoff, this time from Snort. Grade: P for plagiarism The whole thing about Tex-Mex is that it’s north of the border though. If he’s chilling south of the border, wouldn’t he just like Mexican food? Grade: D Simple little ditty for a holiday bear. I don’t hate it. I don’t love it. Grade: C+ Again with the co-dependency. Teddy, you can be best friends with someone and still hang out with your other friends. Grade: D It doesn’t matter what I do? So if I throw Tracker off the roof, he still loves me? That doesn’t seem healthy. Yeah, yeah, unconditional love, but there are limits, Tracker. Don’t sell yourself short! Grade: C Oh, Tuffy! This is maybe the thousandth time the Beanies have laughed at someone’s bad luck, but I think this is the first time that they’ve laughed in a potentially dangerous situation. Tuffy was so damn excited about his motorcycle that he takes off with his trainers on. It’s sweet, but also perhaps a sign that Tuffy isn’t quite mature enough to ride a motorbike. Grade: D Curious to know why Tusk only seems to brush once daily when at least twice daily is recommended for humans. I get that there’s a difference between tusks and teeth, but he specifies that he’s brushing his teeth. Also, it’s good to encourage kids to brush their chompers, but setting them up with the idea that their teeth will sparkle if they do seems like a bad choice. Grade: D Is Twigs okay? I know that giraffes have long legs, but I don’t think they’re supposed to be so skinny that they wobble and shake. Grade: F Well this seems healthier, I think? Or have I just read so many of these damn poems that I’ve lost hold on what’s healthy and what’s not? They’re indicating that he is open to hugging because he likes me, which seems like a good reason to hug a person. And when I’m feeling sad I can just feel his love. There’s no, “He’ll fix you right up!” but rather he’ll just be there to feel your feels with you. Grade: A Finally! A nocturnal animal that’s not shamed for it! In fact, they make it sound quite fun to be a panther jumping around in the night. Bravo! Grade: A More tripping animals. I think these Beanies need a tailor. Grade: C For its time, this was pretty clever, I think. I was alive and high-schooling in the late ’90s when this was written, and surfing the web was far from normalized quite yet. I mean, we had internet in our house, but it was still hilarious to see what we considered an “old person” using a computer or cell phone. Grade: B+ Okay, this guy has a disadvantage because of his height. While I’d prefer to see him just embrace it and tell the naysayers to bug off, I can respect that he’s finding a “solution” to his shortness by getting up high. Still, someone tell him that he can still be top dog if he’s short! He could stand to get a new name, though. Grade: B Why will she love me so much? She’s standing behind a tree, scared of me (I don’t blame her), and then out of nowhere she loves me so much? This is unhealthy! Grade: D First of all, I am also the class of ’98. Great job Wise, we’re pals! But also, I don’t buy that he’s both the head of the class and getting A’s and B’s. Grade: Not an A or B My puppy Maud also likes to climb up on my lap and it can be quite annoying as she’s large and not very dainty about getting her cuddles, but I think Wrinkles and his crinkly nose is perhaps a little gentler about it? Let’s hope so. Grade: C I’m hoping Ziggy is getting more than a free game to referee. He’s providing labor and should be compensated accordingly. That’s what’s not fair! These Beanies are really not very supportive of each other. Grade: D I just wish the Beanies were as supportive of each other as they are of me, damn. Grade: C
